Have you ever thought to yourself, “I’m just not good enough”? I had the experience recently during a class presentation that didn’t turn out as I had anticipated. The experience caused me to reflect on how to overcome such self sabotage.
I believe that negative self talk is often more prominent when we are going through a time of transition. Often during a career change or a time of learning a new skill, the “Saboteur”, that negative internal voice, will appear. Knowing that the Saboteur will be at work during these times is the first step of battling its effects. Rather than being surprised that negative chatter is happening, be prepared for it. One method of preparation is to know how you are going to respond. As an example you could say, “Hello Saboteur. I knew you were going to show up. I’m ready for you but I’m not going to pay attention to you.”
Another method of dealing with negative self talk is to simply acknowledge it for what it is – thoughts that you have the power to overcome. Remember that the negativity is not based in reality and does not have relevance. The self destructive talk should be mentally tossed out and replaced by positive, affirming thoughts. One method of accomplishing this “tossing out” is to actually do just that. Write down the all of the negative thoughts on a piece of paper, wad up the paper and toss it out in the garbage.
Battling a few negative thoughts is one thing, but what happens when these thoughts are persistent? For those times, outside help is needed. This assistance could be in the form of a coach, counselor, or trusted friend. A call for help to a Divine Source may also be needed to connect us to the truth of our identity. For example, we need wisdom to recognize and utilize our God-given talents, strengths, and potential to accomplish big dreams.
Keeping negative self talk in check will be a life long endeavor; however, the next time you hear it, remember you were already expecting it. Mentally toss out the negative trash by replacing it with affirming thoughts. Think also of your connection to the Divine, remembering that you were created with talents, strengths, and great potential.
Stacy Harshman brings her experience as a recruiter for a Fortune 500 corporation to her work as a life and career coach. In addition to helping people discover their passions, she also provides clients with insight into the mind of a recruiter, unlocking the secrets of what employers look for in potential employees. Stacy offers individual and group coaching in person and by phone to those seeking positive change in their professional and personal lives.
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